I decided a while ago that on that day, I was going to try to focus on calmness and peace. I didn’t read the news or turn on the TV. I graded some student papers, did some of my own personal writing, and then my partner and I decided to go out and look for end tables we’ve been wanting to buy. While out, we stopped for lunch and had a glass of wine. Just before we went home, we decided to stop to see if I could get myself a new pair of earmuffs. My old ones had fallen out of my car, and I accidentally ran over them and they snapped in half.
In the store was a mother and three children looking for a coat to buy for the oldest child, probably about twelve years old. They walked down a long aisle of coats. The child would pull one from the rack, try it on and then toss it over the rack or throw it on the floor. This went on for a while. The other two children ran among the racks playing tag and yelling.
At first, I just shook my head. I wanted to leave. This was not what I wanted to experience today. I went to retrieve my partner. He was headed for the dressing room. I went back to where the small family was. On impulse, I went down the aisle of coats. I picked up the first coat there, returned it to its hanger, and slipped it back on the rack. Then I went to the next coat. Soon, I was moving down the aisle putting coat after coat back on the rack. I just had to do something.
I feel as helpless as so many people. I know I cannot fix the big uglies that are happening right now around us. But I can do something to fix the small uglies, in this case, a mess which an extremely inconsiderate family left for overworked employees. At the very least, I can hang up a coat, pick up some litter on the side of the road or offer a kind word. A friend of mine spent her day at a food pantry. There are so many things we can do to help with the small uglies be less ugly.
I’m not naïve. I know the big uglies might come for us. We may be called to do much more than hang up a few coats. Working against the small uglies will help me align my mind and spirit to be ready to stand up for what is right when the world calls for so much more. I know what is right and what is wrong, but I am not a fool. I am not going to fix anything. I’m sure that for this family, it is not the first time they destroyed a store and left it for employees to pick up their mess. It probably won’t be the last store they do this in either. But I refuse to be complicit in their behavior. I could do something, so I did. It didn’t matter to that family. It didn’t even matter to the employees who didn’t even know I was there hanging up coats. But it mattered to me.
I also noticed something important as I left the store. My sense of calm and peace had been restored. My heart is absolutely breaking for all the pain and suffering that is being loosed upon this country right now. I feel so helpless like so many of you. But I can do good today, right now, in my little world. I’m just not trying to make myself feel better. I believe that good must exist in the world and love is the single most powerful force in the universe. If I believe those things, I am compelled to act. Even if it is one coat at a time.